Tuesday, October 1, 2013

When the Shanahammer Falls

Now let me tell you of a man, one Shanahan by name
He metes out fines and punishments, no two judgments the same
Took up a shining hammer when he answered Bettman's call
Now brave men flee scared lest they be the anvil when it falls

It's a breakneck world of hitting in the good old hockey game
One hundred thousand eyes on you and plays shown frame-by-frame
So don't talk back and don't be smart when he got you by the balls
Just close your eyes and hold your wallet tight 'til the Shanahammer falls

He'll shame you public from his throne of the D.O.P.S.
But 'next suspension coming down could be any man's guess
So be warned, goons and thugs from Anaheim to Montreal
You best be scared, 'cause who knows where the next Shanahammer falls

A man may not be looking when you stand up in his way
But you can't be sure on which side Shanahan woke up today
So you better speak in whispers and you tip-toe through the halls
And beware the shadow of the Shanahammer if it falls

So if a game is rough and neither ref is making calls
And you want to smash Hank Zetterberg's damn head against a wall
Go ahead and take a chance! but if you touch Jarret Stoll
Well... you better not be Raffi fuckin' Torres when the Shanahammer falls